I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
