I am in a vortex of obligation.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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