Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
A+ Viking dick
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
