My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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