Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
