You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Randomize