so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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