Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
