And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just want to make out with him forever
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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