Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
