white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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