Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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