I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
