and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
