the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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