just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You took a bar mat shot.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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