I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
