Im at strip club and am horny
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
