toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
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