yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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