This is not my ceiling
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
