What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius