And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline