I'm going to jail i love you
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches