just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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