whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
