I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
