My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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