i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
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Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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