In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
