Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize