my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
