a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize