i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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