so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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