I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
