last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize