I cockslap morals
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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