he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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