she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
