we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
