i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
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we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
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That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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