you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
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