His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
