Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
