So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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