I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
