don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
