u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
