You're so nebulous sometimes
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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