the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize