your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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