i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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