The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
