Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
