This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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