i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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