Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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