What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
